I have been feeling tender lately and leaning within more. I have found myself in these colder months leaning away from social media and events that are not within the present moment of the here and now. Finding when I tend to not be in a productive state, especially in the winter, I can find myself looping back to some of my old habits; like comparing.
For me, that is the worst. There were so many quiet times without anyone to express a lot of these thoughts and feelings too— alot of everyone saw a happy gal then that's what it is but behind that there was always these non stop questions… Wondering if I am doing enough? Wondering if I am listening clearly enough? Wondering if all aspects of a mother, an individual, a worker, and space holder are being upheld and accounting for every area, which I always feel I want to do more and forgiving myself and finding the grace when I realize how crazy of a standard to hold myself too or anyone. Knowing that leaning in and also knowing that leaning out to others in my community can be a way to see the light, to see the new perspective breaking through. Every single time, when I take the time to reflect, I see the light break through.
That is my living strength and living source of God; everyday he lets me see the light break through. This simple act irrevocably shakes me to my core. Just as he allows this light to break through every aspect of time and space, of the earth, the trees, the water, even between stones—-he allows this light to break through me, he allows this light to shine through me and in doing so I can shine a love outward. How I hope and pray by shining that love, then maybe a little light can break towards you.
It gets overwhelming at times, this thing we are dancing through called life. So for me removing some of the excess noise allows me to see what feelings are really actually my own feelings that I need to recognize and process or if these are just over stimulations that have creeped up reminding me of these old cycles and habits that I have worked and continue to work on for the betterment of this life experience and take the time to see where the light breaks for the love to come on through.
Thank you for all the continued support and love!
Like Rumi said “We are all just walking each other home”
Xoxox
Samantha Jo